Dachau

Much as I try, I can’t find the right words to properly convey what I thought and felt when visiting Dachau last weekend. As I walked the same grounds that thousands had before me, I kept thinking about Elie Wiesel, Primo Levi, Anne Frank, and all the other authors whose works have impacted me. I thought about how cold I was in my winter jacket and thick socks, and how cold they must have been. I felt a weight on my shoulders as I walked between the buildings, but above all, a sense of duty and determination: learn, face reality, and use it to make good.

6 million is too devastatingly, abstractly large to fully comprehend. It’s both easier and harder to grasp by thinking about an individual, then a room of individuals, then slowly expanding until it becomes impossible to imagine. I feel it is our duty as human beings to acknowledge and remember the atrocities of the past. As a student of history, as someone living in Germany, as a young person affected by global politics, and simply as a human being, I knew it was necessary for me to visit Dachau as soon as I had the chance.

Once I stepped past the bus stop and onto the actual grounds, I didn’t take any photos. Some people did. I didn’t want to. It’s a memorial, not a zoo.

When I visited, I participated in a guided tour of the grounds. Related to Holocaust survivors, my tour guide was knowledgeable, composed, and empathetic. I am extremely impressed and humbled by anyone who chooses to work at these memorials. It requires a strength that few possess.

A normal city exists by the memorial. While on the bus to the site, I passed neighborhoods, shops, mothers pushing strollers down sidewalks. For some reason, this gave me cognitive dissonance. To me, it felt like a town living in the shadow of history, dwarfed by its past. Yet somehow, life goes on. People move on and people move in. Maybe it isn’t so strange and I’d simply forgotten how close regular citizens were to the actual mass murder. Maybe it’s a bit easier to stomach to think everyday people didn’t know the extent of it, if they were too far away to see the smoke. Unfortunately, that’s not true. As the tour guide said, they knew, but decided they didn’t want to know.

There’s a certain barrier that came down for me now that my German skills have improved. When I wasn’t looking for a translation at the bottom of the screen or an explanatory text, I found the language impacted me more deeply than expected. I hadn’t realized it before, and it’s so simple, but understanding the language of the Holocaust directly as it was hit me like a gut-punch.

No matter how much you study, nothing–no amount of memoirs, classes, documentaries, anything–will compare to walking across the grounds and through the gas chambers where it happened. While the old adage of those who don’t remember or learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, I think it’s possible to know the past and still fail to prevent similar tragedies. As the number of living survivors wanes, it is essential that we all pledge to never forget. 

A special thank you to all the teachers and professors who taught me about the Holocaust. In particular, I want to thank Mrs. Painter and Dr. Mirna Zakic. Night by Elie Wiesel, The Anatomy of Fascism by Robert O. Paxton, and Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning are three of the most important books I’ve ever read. I still remember the hole I felt the day Elie Wiesel died in 2016. I’ll forever carry his story with me.

I want to end with a quote by Anne Frank. Knowing her story, no other words consistently make me as immediately emotional as these:

“It’s difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”

Learning German Through Yoga

    I have now lived in Germany for three months. During that time, my German has massively improved, but I am still nowhere near fluency. While I agree with the notion that immersion is the best way to learn a language, immersion is not enough on its own. Practicing on your own time, like playing Duolingo or listening to Disney songs in German, is necessary as well. Unfortunately, language learning has always been challenging for me, and despite my best attempts, I am still stuck in B1 (intermediate). 

    I’ve found that attending yoga classes has been a surprisingly effective way to learn German. During class, the instructor speaks slowly and enunciates clearly, giving me enough time to fully process and understand what they said. Because the instructor is usually the only one speaking, I can listen without feeling stressed about formulating the correct response. In addition, since I’m already familiar with most yoga sequences and poses, the instructions are easy to follow and an excellent way to learn new vocabulary, especially words relating to the body. Yoga is also a nice way to meet new people and chat with them before class begins, but without the expectation of holding a lengthy conversation. Finally, if I don’t understand something, I can simply look to the other participants and match their movements. It’s a relaxing environment where I don’t worry about being “found out” as a foreigner.

    To those who want to improve their language skills, I recommend taking a yoga class!

Thanksgiving in Germany

    My Papa always said, “No one should be alone on Thanksgiving.” For the first time, I was worried that might happen this year. Thursday was a regular work day and the vast majority of Germans I’ve spoken with don’t regularly celebrate Thanksgiving. Erlangen’s Weihnachtsmarkt is up and running, the Glühwein is flowing, and my students are already excited for Christmas. 

    Thankfully, I have kind colleagues who understand homesickness and wanted to ensure I would have company on Thanksgiving. They knew Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year, so they invited several colleagues and organized a proper gathering.

    Despite being in Germany, having no oven in my Studentenwohnheim, and the struggles I faced trying to find ingredients at the supermarket (I’ve now learned that cornstarch is Speisestärke in German), I was determined to bake a pie for Thanksgiving. Using German ingredients (like Butterkekse instead of vanilla wafers for the crust) and a friend’s oven, I baked one of my favorites: banana cream pie. 

    When I arrived at the host’s house on Thursday evening, I removed my shoes and was offered slippers, or “Hausschuhe”. It felt welcoming to receive and wear them around the house, and supplying Hausschuhe for guests may be a practice I adopt in the future.

    Instead of turkey, we enjoyed Raclette, which is a traditional German New Year’s meal. A Raclette is a type of small grill with removable trays on which one can pile mushrooms, pepper, bacon, onions, raclette cheese (which tastes delicious when melted), and more. I’m proud to say that my banana cream pie tasted as good as it normally does back in the States. With the language oscillating between German and English and enjoying German cuisine on an American holiday, it was an intercultural evening.

    I’m very thankful for my fellow teachers whose company and hospitality made this Thanksgiving memorable. Less than a month until I’m back home to visit my family for Christmas!

Privilege

    The longer I am here, the more grateful I am to have been born and raised in the United States. While our country is facing MANY problems, I’m learning more and more how much I lucked out in the birth lottery. Since arriving in Germany, I’ve met people who’ve already endured harsher circumstances than I’ll likely ever experience. I’ve befriended fellow international students who escaped war in their home country, who have family members living in unsafe conditions, and who face discrimination at a level worse than I’ll ever worry about. When you meet and connect with someone one-on-one, the problems they face are no longer something happening on the other side of the world in a distant, obscure country; the issues become something real with direct impacts on the person right in front of you. To my fellow Americans: while our freedoms and privileges are not unique to us, do not take them for granted because they are not guaranteed. Be thankful for what we have and have empathy for those with less.

Living Alone Abroad: Safety Tips and Finding Fun

    Moving abroad is tough, especially when you do it alone. There’s culture shock, homesickness, linguistic challenges, annoying bureaucratic processes, loneliness, and more. However, it is also rewarding and serves as an opportunity for personal growth. In less than two months, my German skills have vastly improved. I have the pleasure of teaching English to my students and learning German from my friends and colleagues each week. I live in an affordable apartment with a quaint view of the surrounding neighborhoods. I have health care. I’ve visited new places, tried new foods, and I am constantly adapting more and more to my surroundings.

    The biggest pro to being alone while abroad is that you are the master of your fate, the captain of all decision-making. When traveling, you can spend the whole day visiting museums. You can eat ice cream twice in one afternoon. You can take a break when you need it, eat dinner early, or just feel the afternoon breeze from a comfortable park bench. Nobody can stop you from prioritizing what you enjoy. 

    However, being alone also means there is nobody to share your struggles with. In the moment, there’s nobody to take your picture, nobody to hug, nobody with whom you can share your experiences.

    For anyone who is considering moving abroad on their own, here is some advice on staying safe and finding fun:

    Safety tips for traveling and living alone abroad: 

1. Be smart. If someone or something makes you uneasy, trust your gut. Protect yourself by making good choices.
2. Communicate. If you’re traveling far, tell at least one person about where you are going and your general plans.
3. Conduct research. Familiarize yourself with your base of operations. For areas you visit, research its reputation, areas to avoid, and other safety facts. I should have researched Frankfurt a bit more beforehand and I will be more thorough when I visit Berlin.
4. Guard your belongings. Whether you’re exploring a new museum, taking a public bus, or strolling through a familiar park, be cognisant of the people around you and your purse, bag, luggage, or wherever else you keep your valuables. Whenever possible, do NOT keep your wallet or keys in extremely accessible places like an open coat pocket or the back pockets of your jeans. Instead, opt for hard-to-reach inner pockets, especially ones guarded with clasps and zippers. I haven't experienced pickpocketing myself, but I have heard plenty of stories from friends and acquaintances.
5. Ignore catcalling. It sucks. I know. It’s awful that it happens and that it’s on us to safeguard ourselves against strangers and the repulsive comments they espouse. While you may want to stick up for yourself or another person, the smartest choice is to simply leave the vicinity as quickly as possible.
6. Lie when necessary. If a stranger asks whether you’re traveling alone or where you’re going, it is okay to lie. When a stranger in Frankfurt asked whether I was there alone, I lied and said I was meeting with a friend soon. Nobody is entitled to the intimate details of your life. A little lie can act as a big safety precaution.
7. Make decisions you feel are in your best interest. For example, although I feel safe and comfortable in Erlangen, I rarely ever walk alone at night.

8. Stay aware of your surroundings. There were streets in Frankfurt, especially immediately surrounding the Hauptbahnhof (train station), where I did not feel comfortable (numerous bars, strip clubs, night clubs, and large groups of rambunctious men), so I walked extremely quickly and found alternate routes between the museums and my hotel for the rest of the trip.

    Tips for enjoying your experience:

1. Be confident! 

2. Be yourself. For example, I know I don’t enjoy parties or drinking; I prefer a cozy night in bed and asleep by 11pm. The power of German drinking culture is not strong enough to make me yield. Don’t feel pressured to radically change who you are or what you enjoy while abroad. You know yourself best.

3. Connect with other foreigners. Finding others who can relate to your experiences, especially the struggles, can be validating and comforting. If you’re a college student, your university probably has an International Office that organizes events catered to international students. Check whether your city has a community center and what activities or services it offers. Erlangen’s Volkshochschule, for example, offers language classes in German, English, Spanish, French, and Italian.

4. Engage in your community. Try a yoga class, join a choir, go bowling, or visit a cat café! There are many opportunities to find fun within your community and you might make new friends as well.

5. Exercise manners. Even if your language skills are imperfect, a smile, saying please and thank you (bitte und danke), and a friendly attitude are useful assets for any situation.

6. Get comfortable eating alone. Don’t let the absence of a companion stop you from exploring new restaurants and enjoying the local cuisine.

7. Take time for self-care. No matter where you are in the world, you are a human that requires rest. The world will still be there when you wake up. Continuing to write in my journal and practice yoga have been essential for my mental health and for recovering my energy.

8. Write. Document your experiences in some way, whether it’s on a public forum like FaceBook or someplace private like a journal. For me, writing doesn’t just help me remember what I’ve done; more importantly, it helps me explore and further process my thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Releasing it all onto paper rather than keeping it bottled up inside, especially when you have nobody to confide in, is extremely cathartic.

    These past two months have been scary, intimidating, and nerve-wracking, but more importantly, they've been educational, wonderful, and worthwhile. My final piece of advice for those considering moving abroad: carpe diem. It's worth it.

Positive

    

    Scheiße.

    Well, the Rona finally got me.

    I managed to avoid it for so long that I was hoping to be one of the lucky ones who never catches it. At the very least, I wanted to be the last untouched member of my household, but that crown belongs to Mom. Congratulations Mom, you are the Sole Survivor of the Schneiders. Guess I'll have to settle for runner-up and maybe Sprint's Player of the Season.

    The physical symptoms are horrendous. My whole body is sore, even my bones. My head feels hot even though I don't have a fever. My nose is stuffed and my sinuses are dripping down onto my throat. I have a cough and my voice is weak and breathy. Worst of all is the headaches: whenever I change positions, like sit down, stand up, or simply roll over in bed, my head explodes in pain. In addition to all the medications, I'm constantly going through tissues, drinking hot tea, and sucking on cough drops. They are the only reasons my head feels okay enough to type this now.

    It sucks being alone, abroad, and sick. This week, I'm missing work, my first week of university classes, and my first choir rehearsal, and I had to cancel my upcoming trip to Berlin. More than before, I ruminate about home. I dreamt about being home the other night, about lying on the couch watching The Great British Baking Show with Dad, about petting Calvin, about just being with the people I love. It's hard, and being quarantined in a small apartment only exacerbates that.

    However, I've been pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of help and kindness I've received from my support system here. Upon hearing I was ill (before I tested positive), my two university buddies put together a goodie bag for me filled with tissues, tea, ibuprofen, a thermometer, and more. One of my partner teachers offered to pick up anything I needed from the grocery store. In addition to my requests for tissues and mandarin oranges (one of my favorite snacks), she also surprised me with Lebkuchen, delicious sugary ginger cookies traditionally eaten during Christmas time. One of my new friends, another American Fulbright Scholar in Erlangen, dropped off some snacks for me today, despite feeling a bit under the weather too. I've received messages from my fellow teachers and my friends here in Germany, which has comforted me and helps me feel less isolated.

    When I apologized for my illness and absences, my partner teacher reassured me, "Take your time getting better." She told me that there is no rush to return to work and that recovering is most important. I have experienced environments where I felt guilty taking even a single sick day, so it's nice to feel like my health is the priority.

    Even when we feel at our lowest, at our loneliest, at our sickest, people can be kind. I've been in Erlangen for less than two months and I've already found people who care about me.

    For now, I'll try to stay positive (heh heh) until I'm negative. Any words of encouragement, pictures of cats, or videos that made you laugh would be appreciated now. Thanks :)

Foreign-Born

   

    While this past month has been overwhelmingly positive, being a foreigner in Germany can be exhausting. Before I leave my apartment each day, I mentally prepare myself to communicate in my non-native language and sometimes practice phrases I might need. I always order food and buy groceries in German, but sometimes, if people realize I'm not a native speaker, they will switch to English and won't switch back, even if I continue to ask questions and respond in (imperfect) German. On the other hand, when someone says something I don't understand, especially if it's a question that requires a quick response, I feel embarrassed and incompetent. It takes significant mental energy to operate in a language besides your mother tongue, so I feel guilty for not being more proficient when speaking with colleagues or my German friends. If it's tiring for me to speak German, it must be tiring for them to speak English with me, so I either criticize myself for not being closer to fluent or I don't speak if I can't find a way to express my thoughts in German.

    On Monday October 3rd, I was sitting in the laundry room with my earbuds in, zoned out and minding my own business. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder and met eyes with a woman around my age rapidly speaking German. After mentally returning to this reality, I quickly understood she was having a problem with her dryer, so I followed her to it, still a bit discombobulated. I realized that the start button was so bent inwards from overuse that it wouldn't work, no matter how hard she pressed it. She also explained that she had already paid for this dryer and the other one was broken, so she couldn't move her clothes. My head felt frazzled, so I listened, nodded, and understood, but didn't respond. Finally, she pushed hard enough on the button that it managed to start, and we both breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled. She began to ask me another question that I cannot remember, and when I started to respond, she interrupted me and said, "Oh, you speak English?" "Yeah," I replied. Within the next minute, she had left the laundromat, clothes still tumbling. The shift from her friendly, talkative nature to suddenly cutting me off and leaving seemed abrupt, but the change probably came from her realizing a conversation with a stranger in the laundromat might not be as easy anymore.

    After touring the Würzburg Residenz, I took a stroll around the surrounding gardens. Inside the Residenz, photography was forbidden, so I wanted to capture at least one photo from the outside to remember the experience. I found a spot by a fountain with a nice view of the building, but quickly noticed I seemed to be the only person standing alone. I felt awkward and anxious amongst the large groups, families, and couples, until I finally worked up the courage to politely ask one of the men if he would take my picture. He looked at me and flatly said, "American or English?" A bit stunned, I sheepishly said, "American." He then accepted my phone and took my picture. When I thanked him afterwards, he said nothing. Now when I look at the photo, instead of recalling the art, the beauty, and the wonder I felt during the tour, all I can think about is how my stomach was twisting itself into a knot with shame. Why was that the only thing he said to me? I wish I hadn't asked him, why didn't I approach someone else? Why did it matter that I'm a foreigner? Why does it matter so much?

    If I'm just ordering a pizza, is it necessary for the shopkeeper to ask where I'm from and what I'm doing in Germany? It may be small talk, but it can also be grating. When an integral part of your identity is different from most people around you, and that difference is repeatedly noticed and highlighted, you might feel ostracized. "Where are you from?" begins to sound like "You're not from here," or "Why are you here?" or "You're not supposed to be here," or your fears even exacerbate it into "You don't belong here." I recognize that as a white English-speaker living in a predominantly European area who knows some German and is actively working to improve it, who also has significantly passport privilege and decent financial security, in many ways, I am playing life on easy mode. I have so much empathy for everyone else who experiences this at a much harsher level, and I can only imagine what it's like.

    Maybe the man I approached was just tired. Maybe the girl at the laundromat just had somewhere to go. Maybe nobody ever means any harm, but I do miss when nobody asked.

Daily Differences

 

    Adjusting to life in Germany has not been easy. Before arrival, I did not realize how much daily tasks become daily rituals, or how much energy it takes to disrupt these rituals and adopt new ones. Although I haven’t experienced too much culture shock, there are many differences I’ve noticed between Ohio and Erlangen. If you want to spend time in Germany, here are some differences you may want to know:

Bread: What everyone says is true: the Germans know how to make bread. From sandwiches to buns to pretzels to sourdough to desserts to strudels, you name it, German bread is delicious. Bakeries are nestled on every other street corner and no matter which one I attend, the bakers working behind the counter have always been sweet and helpful, even when I fumble over my words.

Currency: With Euros, each bill is a different length and color, making it easy to distinguish between different amounts. Some coins are cents and some are full Euros, so make sure you know the difference.

Insect Hotels: This is a concept I never knew existed before living in Germany. Apparently, these cute little constructions are exactly what you’d think: hotels for insects! They’re surprisingly big. Here’s a photo of one I saw in Würzburg yesterday: 

Masks: Masks are still required on public transportation and in certain indoor spaces like pharmacies. It’s also normal to see people wearing masks in public, at school, or outside, especially if they’re feeling sick.

Pigeons: They’re EVERYWHERE. I’m not kidding. One almost flew straight into my head when I was walking down the street yesterday. I’ve seen pigeons inside train stations and shopping centers. When I visited Munich and Würzburg, they were there too. You can’t escape them. In battle, the pigeons in Erlangen would easily massacre the seagulls at Cedar Point. We’re all outnumbered. It’s only a matter of time.

Postal Mail: Most bureaucratic processes are still done through paper mail rather than email, which means registering for electricity or receiving your student ID can take weeks.

Public Transportation: When I arrived in Munich’s airport the morning of September 5th, I knew I needed to travel over 117 miles to Erlangen, then find my address within Erlangen, all while carrying my heavy luggage and without access to a car. Luckily, because of Germany’s trains and buses (and a little help from my friends), I was able to get from Munich to Erlangen, then from Erlangen’s train station to my apartment, quickly enough to be completely moved in by about 2pm. The Cleveland airport is closer to Bowling Green than Munich is to Erlangen, but an international student landing there would have a MUCH tougher time covering that distance without a car than I did here in Germany. While there can be delays or some routes may get crowded, having any public transportation is better than little to none. My only obstacle without a car in Germany is the weather, but even then, I have adopted the German mindset of “Wir sind nicht aus Zucker!” (The rain won’t stop us because we are not made out of sugar). This video captures the sentiment entertainingly.

Recycling: From what I've noticed, Germans take recycling seriously. Walking through a neighborhood, it’s normal to notice four or five different colored bins at the end of every driveway. I haven’t seen a plastic straw since landing in Germany. It’s not that Germans inherently care more about the Earth and climate change than Americans do (well, maybe some); rather, recycling is socially encouraged and systemically supported, making it possible and simple for every single person to compost, separate their trash, and reuse or recycle most of what they buy.

Repurposing Buildings: Rather than knocking down old buildings and rebuilding new ones in their place, Germans tend to use existing buildings for new purposes, leading to the creation of the fanciest McDonald’s I’ve ever seen:

Sidewalks and Streets: Sidewalks are wide, with plenty of room for both cyclists and pedestrians. Streets are narrower and cars are smaller than in the States. Speed limits are painted on the ground and traffic lights are usually lower and stationed at street corners rather than hanging over the center of the intersection. I think cars are being discouraged in favor of public transportation due to their environmental impact and the rising cost of fuel.

Tip: When waiting at a crosswalk, even if the streets are completely empty without a hint of a car horn blowing faintly in the wind, Germans typically do not cross until the signal changes to green. Crossing while the signal is still red, no matter how safe, is frowned upon.

Smoking: From what I’ve noticed, smoking seems to be more common here in Bavaria than Ohio, especially with young people. Almost every outdoor restaurant table and trashcan has an ashtray.

Street art: Stickers on poles and graffiti on walls or electrical boxes are common, often with political motivation. Here are some examples of the street art I’ve passed:

The Forrest Gump sticker (which translates to “Life is like a box of chocolates…too much plastic.”) and acronyms like “ACAB” (not pictured but frequently spotted) seem to be small examples of the influence that American pop culture and politics have had on Germany.

Sundays: In Germany, Sunday is known as the day of rest. Most shops are closed and public spaces are not as crowded. People are encouraged to relax rather than go out. I love the idea of an official day of rest because it feels like society is asking me to slow down, or maybe it lets me give myself permission to take a break.

Travel: In my experience, the average German seems to be more internationally well-traveled than the average American. Foreign countries are much closer and transportation within and between countries is efficient. The United States is a BIG country and there are plenty of unique, spectacular places to visit domestically. Unless you are planning to visit Canada or Mexico, international travel can be difficult and expensive, and according to the BBC, only about 40% of Americans have a passport (I read a few more articles from other news sources and the figure stayed the same).

Water: At every restaurant in America that I can remember, water is free with your meal. However, that is not the case in Germany. Water costs money, and if you don’t want sparkling water, you must request “stilles Wasser” (still water, basically tap water). Free water at American restaurants is something my German counterparts have expressed a bit of jealousy about!

    Overall, I am slowly adapting to life in Germany. I will probably notice even more differences throughout the rest of my year here, and I’m already planning to bring some of these changes (like regularly composting) back home with me!

Teaching

    I have officially concluded my first week of working as an English Teaching Assistant! To sum it up in one word, it has been wonderful.

    My fellow teachers have been very welcoming to me, answering any questions I have, introducing me to the students with enthusiasm, and granting me their trust. They’ve complimented my German abilities and my motivation numerous times, which I appreciate. Although most of my conversations have been with those who teach English or who have spent time abroad in an English-speaking country, I have also conversed with staff members predominantly in German. Last Friday, I bonded with many of them as we took a train to a nearby town, hiked 5 kilometers to a Biergarten, ate lunch, hiked the 5 kilometers back, and finally rode the train back to Erlangen together. Although it was extremely mentally taxing to hear and speak so much German for hours on end while engaging in light exercise, I think I made a good first impression. Since then, some of them have watched how I present lessons and handle a classroom, and most seem eager to have me in their classrooms again (my permanent schedule is not 100% set yet).

    Making interpersonal connections and discussing cultural differences have been some of my favorite moments so far in Germany. Just yesterday, I spoke with one of my colleagues about the differences between American teachers and German teachers, both in terms of expectations placed upon them and the treatment they receive. I spoke frankly about the challenges that today’s American educators face, such as criticism from administrators, politicians, and parents, certain states or areas banning books and regulating what teachers can/should teach, and gun violence. The exchange of knowledge, personal experiences, and differing perspectives is, to me, the heart of the Fulbright experience. I find the process of learning extremely fulfilling, and I cannot wait to see how I grow as a person by the end of this year.

    The students have been, of course, the best part of my week. Overall, they strike me as intelligent, inquisitive, good listeners, and well-spoken. In addition, they seem to be remarkably well-behaved. On Tuesday, there was a mistake on the class schedule, so the teacher and I needed to move our class of Year 5 students from the second floor down to the basement. I was extremely impressed when the teacher simply told the students about the mix-up, then they quickly gathered their belongings and began walking. No lines, no arguments in the hallway, no need to monitor them every step of the way. The teacher and I walked at the back of the group, and by the time we reached the correct classroom, most of the students were already seated and pulling out their supplies. 

    I posed two questions to some of my classes: First, why is it important to learn English, or what are your personal motivations for learning English? Second, is it important for native English speakers to learn another language? A surprising number of students answered “No, it is not necessary,” for the second question. With both questions, we discussed English being the lingua franca of the world, how widespread English education is across the world, and the influence of American pop culture, such as music and movies.

    There were a couple times this week when I stumbled over my words or embarrassed myself, but I managed to laugh it off without feeling shame. I hope my students feel comfortable experimenting with English with me and making mistakes because I have already made several mistakes in German, such as saying my favorite German food is Käse Schinken instead of Käse Spätzel; my students managed to correct me when I said, "It's the German version of macaroni and cheese!" I'll use my own struggles as a German learner to inform my decisions as a teacher and I hope my students can relate to my experiences.

    This week, the students reminded me of why I love teaching so much. After I finished my introductory lesson, some of the classes surprised me by clapping for me. It was touching to look around and see such genuine smiles and appreciation from these students. Other students waited after class to speak with me privately or ask me a personal question. Even after only one week, I remember a few names and a few instances where a student and I connected over something (like being Ravenclaws and liking Luna Lovegood!). I still miss my students from last year, and I hope the connections I make this year are as just as deep and fulfilling. I am endlessly grateful for this opportunity, and I can already tell I am going to love my job.

    Even the school’s cafeteria is impressive. When I ate lunch with some of my colleagues, I discovered that the cafeteria has its own personal chef who makes the meals each day. Rather than typical American school lunches of cardboard pizza, bendy carrots, a tasteless fruit cup, and a box of milk, I enjoyed a full serving of fresh, hot ratatouille with some sort of delicious Austrian dessert. 

    Since this school is focused on the arts (music, theatre, and visual arts), many of the walls are decorated with the students’ creations. Walking out of the building earlier, I passed a group of girls playfully singing in harmony with each other. I have also been asked to occasionally attend rehearsals for the school play, which will be in English, and offer my help with pronunciation, phrasing, etc. It is wonderful to be in a place where the arts are not only properly funded, but also openly valued and celebrated.

    Next week, I will add the primary school to my weekly schedule. As of now, I will work at the high school on Monday through Wednesday and at the elementary school on Thursdays. I have Fridays reserved for lesson planning and my university coursework (and a little bit of travel, when I have the chance).

    Accepting this Fulbright award is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am expanding my horizons, growing in independence and knowledge, and living in the moment. Education is a wonderful gift and I hope my students benefit from this year as much as I know I will. 

A Baker's Kindness

 

    I wrote this in my journal earlier today, but I thought it might do some good here:

September 14, 2022

    Amidst the chaos of everything recently--trying to gather all the correct papers for my residence permit, preparing to be both a teacher and a student, improving my German, attempting to master the bus system, and so much more--it's nice to have small moments of peace and personal happiness. This is one of those moments. After a morning spent completely chained to my desk searching through university classes on my laptop, I am now sitting outside a cute bakery with a large cappuccino and an apple strudel. Both taste like they were made with love and respect for the culinary arts, but it was the lady behind the counter that made my day. As I took my time at the counter silently trying to match the German names I read with the baked goods I saw (okay, Apfelkuchen means apple cake, so it must be that one!), she waited while I took "einen Moment, bitte," (a moment, please) to decide what to order. After I pointed to something and asked what it was, I immediately knew she recognized that I'm a foreigner from the deliberate and slightly slower way she explained the items. However, instead of switching to English, she continued to speak in German, which I deeply appreciated. Although I took longer than a typical customer and needed a little more assistance, she listened and responded without any air of judgement. Now, I get to sit here, despite the rain, despite the cars passing by, and despite the construction right across the street, and feel at ease. 

    When someone gives you patience without patronization, when they understand your differences without making you feel different, and when they give you the chance to learn without making you feel guilty or stupid for not already knowing, then you begin to feel accepted. You feel like you'll belong someday, or maybe that you already belong.

Die erste Woche

“All of the doors yet to open,

all of the rooms ahead—

they’re beckoning bright,

scary and new,

but I’m standing tall,

and I’m walking through!”

-The Life I Never Led from “Sister Act (The Musical)”

    This week has been…incredible. Challenging. Wonderful. Exhausting. I could use many adjectives to attempt to describe my experiences thus far, but none can perfectly summarize everything. I will attempt to be concise in this post and not ramble too much!

Die Stadt (the city)

    So far, Erlangen has been a lovely place to call home. Sidewalks are wide and often color-coded--red for cyclists and grey for pedestrians--making it extremely convenient for me to walk anywhere I need to (By the way, the importance of staying in the correct sidewalk section was a lesson I learned on the first day as I was carrying a heavy grocery bag back from Aldi and noticed cyclists kept swerving around me. Oops!). On Tuesday, I went on a walking tour of the city, which gave me the chance to meet other international students living here, marvel at Erlangen's many old buildings, and learn a bit more about the city's history. The activity I've enjoyed the most was walking around the Schlossgarten (castle garden) while sipping some local coffee and conversing in German with one of my new friends. This photo was taken in front of the Schlossgarten's spectacular Huguenot fountain:

Das Studentenwohnheim (the dormitory/student residence)

    I am very happy with my living quarters. With my own private restroom, a small kitchen space, and plenty of storage, it feels more like a small apartment than a dorm room. I am on the top floor, so I have a magnificent view of the surrounding neighborhood. 

Essen (Food) 

    Erlangen offers a wide variety of culinary choices. So far, I have eaten out twice: once at an Indian restaurant and once at a more traditional German restaurant called "Brasserie". I also felt quite accomplished when I ordered and paid for some delicious ice cream completely in German!

Die Menschen in meiner Stadt (The people in my city)

    Erlangen boasts a diverse and (in my experience) friendly population. Even when I mispronounce a word or struggle to format a sentence correctly, the people are patient and nice. Every bus driver has been patient as I try to pronounce the names of stops and streets correctly. When I bought my first Pullover (sweater) in German yesterday, the cashier was kind even when I misheard "neunzehn" (19) as just "neun" (9) and only gave him ten euro before quickly realizing and correcting my mistake. Last night, I learned that German waiters and waitresses do not need as large of a tip as in the United States, so I encountered a bit of confusion when I tried to leave a 5€ tip for a meal that cost a little less than 15€! Our Kellner (waiter) was kind and corrected me, explaining to me that only a euro or two is normal for a meal like mine.

    However, I understand that my experiences are merely my own.  Looking like I do with a name like Julia Schneider, it is incredibly easy for me to blend in. As of yet, I have not encountered any rudeness, impatience, anger, or suspicion from others. I recognize that I have a certain level of privilege and that my observations and experiences are not universal.

Meine Freundinnen (My friends)

    I have made two friends so far in Erlangen! By signing up for the local university's "Buddy Program", I have been introduced to two German women who have helped me tremendously. They helped me carry my luggage to my dorm, they've helped translate for me when I did not understand a specific word or phrase, they accompanied me as I acquired a German phone number, and they helped me establish my own German bank account! We had dinner together last night and engaged in wonderful conversations about politics, cultural differences, languages, and much more. Without their help, along with the assistance and support provided by Sam (son of Dr. Miner, one of my favorite professors) on my first day arriving in Germany, I would not feel as safe and secure as I do now.

Müde (Tired)

    Since arriving, I have found I get exhausted extremely easily. After a full day, I often collapse onto my bed in the evening, unable to even write an email. In the middle of the day at times, my energy feels completely depleted; I’ve had to return to my apartment several times just to take a nap. Adjusting to the time difference (Erlangen is 6 hours ahead of Ohio) is likely a contributing factor, but I believe the major cause is the mental fatigue that results from constantly communicating in a second language. While I am not afraid of making mistakes and I'm not ashamed to carefully consider my words (one of my German friends even told me yesterday that my German has improved just in the week she’s known me), it is mentally taxing to operate in a place where I am not yet fluent in the dominant language. 

    Letting myself rest and relax when necessary has been instrumental in allowing myself to recover my energy and process everything. While part of me is screaming, “Why are you napping? You’re in Germany, get out there and explore while you still can!”, the more logical, reasonable voice in my head knows that I will be here almost a full year, and to burn myself out before I even start teaching would benefit nobody.

Conclusion

    I am proud of myself for how well I am adapting to my new life and its many challenges. I think I am a positive representative for America and I am so excited for the year ahead. Bis später! 

Applying for the Fulbright: Challenges and Tips

   

    I almost didn’t apply for the Fulbright.

    After a few initial discussions with my advisor at Ohio University in the spring of 2021, I started preparing to apply for the Fulbright English Teaching Assistant position. Over the next few months, I wrote, and edited, and re-wrote, and re-edited, and sometimes entirely scrapped my essays. My advisor was incredibly helpful and encouraging, but as the summer set in, so did extreme self-doubt, anxiety, and fear. I stopped responding to his emails. I avoided looking at the folder on my desktop containing my application materials, convinced I had no shot. I fell off the bandwagon. I didn’t just fall, I let fear shove me off. 

    My City Year AmeriCorps experience broke the spell and proved that not only am I capable of overcoming adversity and thriving in a new, unfamiliar environment, but it convinced me that I am worthy of a Fulbright award. 

    This past year serving with City Year AmeriCorps was, in a way, a new cultural experience. I completely immersed myself in a school system vastly removed from the one I grew up in. It is one thing to learn about redlining, the effects of systemic racism on our education system, and chronic underfunding, yet it is entirely different to observe its effects around you each day. Not only that, but these students had just endured a year of isolation, virtual learning, and all the political, civil, and personal turmoil caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. They seemed to forget and needed to be reminded of even basic classroom procedures and manners. They were—and remain—far behind academically and socially. My coworkers and I did our best to help students catch up, but it simply was not enough.

    “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” That vital lesson saved me from terminating my service early. From day one, I knew I needed to teach my students more than just the core subjects; I also needed to help them with social emotional learning, readjusting to in-person school, and basic life skills like forming healthy friendships. Quickly, I bonded with my students and came to care for them as unique, incredible, complex individuals. However, I lost sight of my field of control, worrying endlessly about my students’ lives outside of school, thinking about their challenges and wondering what more I could do. These thoughts ensnared my mind beyond the school walls, following me on my commute and invading my home. It took me months of exhaustion, stress, anxiety, and being unable to separate work from home life to realize that my thoughts were not helping anyone. They were unproductive and even harmful. I could only help my students during school hours, and anything else was out of my control. To finish the year with my students—that was paramount to me—I (mostly) stopped worrying about what I couldn’t realistically change, affect, or control and instead focused on what I could. I created boundaries, like not thinking about work at home, to care for myself. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had any energy left to finish the year.

    This lesson, among the many others I learned, reassured me that I have the resilience it takes to complete a Fulbright and I submitted the application on time last fall. If you are considering applying for an English Teaching Assistant position, here are some tips from me:

•  The “prestige” of Fulbright should not be what motivates you. Know that you are applying for a teaching position, not just a travel experience.
• Recruit several people to read and edit your essays. My advisor from OU was an enormous help to me throughout the entire application process. His critiques and recommendations, I believe, pushed me to create the best version of what my essays could be.
• The application process, particularly writing the essays, will teach you about yourself, your ambitions, your core values, and your career goals. Even if you are rejected, applying can be an educational and worthwhile experience on its own.
• Be resilient throughout the process. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that may present themselves, like self-doubt and fear, but do not let them overshadow your motivations for applying and the multitude of reasons why you’re the right person for this position.
• Mention past experiences working with children.
• Make plans for how you want to engage with your local community. Scholars can only leave their host country for a total of 14 days during their Fulbright grant period, so don’t expect to be touring the continent every weekend. 
• Express an openness to new experiences, diversity, and personal growth.
• So many articles and videos are focused on how to get the Fulbright, but not how to do the job. Advocate for your skills, your expertise, and your experiences, whether you have formally taught in a classroom or not, and how they will help you perform your duties. (For example, in my Personal Statement, I included a story from when I was a camp counselor.)

    The only way to guarantee rejection is to stop yourself from trying. Go for it.

Guten Tag und Willkommen!

    

    My name is Julia, I just turned 23, and one month from now, I will be leaving the country to spend a year teaching English in Erlangen, Germany as a Fulbright Scholar!

    “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start…”

    Adventure, ambition, and exploration have always been essential parts of who I am. I love to learn and soak up information like a sponge. Living abroad, immersing myself in another nation’s culture, language, and history, has long been something I’ve craved, a life goal. I have an insatiable desire to learn about the world and experience it firsthand. 

    Since middle school, I have dreamed of teaching abroad. For many years, I thought I would achieve that dream through the PeaceCorps. I even applied to the PeaceCorps my senior year of college and was invited to interview for “the Agriculture Extension Agent-Rural Aquaculture Promotion (RAP) position in Zambia.” Well… not exactly what I had in mind. I didn't feel comfortable or qualified enough to accept a position in agriculture when my area of expertise is education. I realized that I could still teach and make an impact without going abroad through AmeriCorps, so that’s what I decided to do this past year.

    Serving with City Year AmeriCorps was extremely rewarding, challenging, and educational. My conflict management skills, confidence, adaptability, and resilience all skyrocketed from this experience. The students were, BY FAR, the best part of the job, and they inspired me to be a better teacher, leader, and person. I still think about them, the difficulties we overcame returning to in-person instruction and the lasting effects of the pandemic, and the impact they left on me. It motivated me even more to teach abroad and proved that I am capable of handling whatever life throws at me.

    Not only was I drawn to Fulbright because of my values and goals, but also my skills and experiences. In college, I despised German and only took it to satisfy the language requirement for my degree. However, once I had the chance to use it in practical settings, like at local German conversation hours, my perspective changed. Rather than focusing on the red marks across my essays, the confusing tenses, and mistakes with der/die/das, I learned to love it as a living, useful tool to connect with others. Working as a Fulbright English Teaching Assistant is an ideal way to fulfill several life goals, employ and improve my German skills, and continue positively impacting students.

    While in Germany, I will be working with two schools: Christian Ernst Gymnasium (a musical high school) and Loschgeschule (a bilingual elementary school). I will also be taking classes at Friedrich Alexander University. I am very excited to meet my students soon and integrate into the Erlangen community!

    Some of my goals for my time in Germany:

1. Maintain this blog!

2. Connect with my students and teach them a thing or two about English

3. Join a local choir (I have my eyes set on Friedrich Alexander University’s Concert Choir)

4. Start or join a local English conversation hour

5. Significantly improve my German language skills

6. Start or help with at least one extracurricular program at my partner schools (I would love to start one focused on women’s leadership, inspired by the programs I participated in at Ohio University)

7. Find a common interest group in my community and make some friends (maybe through joining a yoga studio or a writing group)

8. Adapt to life in Germany

9. Send postcards back home

10. Explore Europe when I have some free time

    I am starting this blog to track, process, and remember my experiences. I will be writing for myself, not to please or meet the expectations of others. For those who choose to read along, I hope you enjoy the journey! Bis bald!