Moving abroad is tough, especially when you do it alone. There’s culture shock, homesickness, linguistic challenges, annoying bureaucratic processes, loneliness, and more. However, it is also rewarding and serves as an opportunity for personal growth. In less than two months, my German skills have vastly improved. I have the pleasure of teaching English to my students and learning German from my friends and colleagues each week. I live in an affordable apartment with a quaint view of the surrounding neighborhoods. I have health care. I’ve visited new places, tried new foods, and I am constantly adapting more and more to my surroundings.
The biggest pro to being alone while abroad is that you are the master of your fate, the captain of all decision-making. When traveling, you can spend the whole day visiting museums. You can eat ice cream twice in one afternoon. You can take a break when you need it, eat dinner early, or just feel the afternoon breeze from a comfortable park bench. Nobody can stop you from prioritizing what you enjoy.
However, being alone also means there is nobody to share your struggles with. In the moment, there’s nobody to take your picture, nobody to hug, nobody with whom you can share your experiences.
For anyone who is considering moving abroad on their own, here is some advice on staying safe and finding fun:
Safety tips for traveling and living alone abroad:
1. Be smart. If someone or something makes you uneasy, trust your gut. Protect yourself by making good choices.
2. Communicate. If you’re traveling far, tell at least one person about where you are going and your general plans.
3. Conduct research. Familiarize yourself with your base of operations. For areas you visit, research its reputation, areas to avoid, and other safety facts. I should have researched Frankfurt a bit more beforehand and I will be more thorough when I visit Berlin.
4. Guard your belongings. Whether you’re exploring a new museum, taking a public bus, or strolling through a familiar park, be cognisant of the people around you and your purse, bag, luggage, or wherever else you keep your valuables. Whenever possible, do NOT keep your wallet or keys in extremely accessible places like an open coat pocket or the back pockets of your jeans. Instead, opt for hard-to-reach inner pockets, especially ones guarded with clasps and zippers. I haven't experienced pickpocketing myself, but I have heard plenty of stories from friends and acquaintances.
5. Ignore catcalling. It sucks. I know. It’s awful that it happens and that it’s on us to safeguard ourselves against strangers and the repulsive comments they espouse. While you may want to stick up for yourself or another person, the smartest choice is to simply leave the vicinity as quickly as possible.
6. Lie when necessary. If a stranger asks whether you’re traveling alone or where you’re going, it is okay to lie. When a stranger in Frankfurt asked whether I was there alone, I lied and said I was meeting with a friend soon. Nobody is entitled to the intimate details of your life. A little lie can act as a big safety precaution.
7. Make decisions you feel are in your best interest. For example, although I feel safe and comfortable in Erlangen, I rarely ever walk alone at night.8. Stay aware of your surroundings. There were streets in Frankfurt, especially immediately surrounding the Hauptbahnhof (train station), where I did not feel comfortable (numerous bars, strip clubs, night clubs, and large groups of rambunctious men), so I walked extremely quickly and found alternate routes between the museums and my hotel for the rest of the trip.
Tips for enjoying your experience:
1. Be confident!
2. Be yourself. For example, I know I don’t enjoy parties or drinking; I prefer a cozy night in bed and asleep by 11pm. The power of German drinking culture is not strong enough to make me yield. Don’t feel pressured to radically change who you are or what you enjoy while abroad. You know yourself best.
3. Connect with other foreigners. Finding others who can relate to your experiences, especially the struggles, can be validating and comforting. If you’re a college student, your university probably has an International Office that organizes events catered to international students. Check whether your city has a community center and what activities or services it offers. Erlangen’s Volkshochschule, for example, offers language classes in German, English, Spanish, French, and Italian.
4. Engage in your community. Try a yoga class, join a choir, go bowling, or visit a cat café! There are many opportunities to find fun within your community and you might make new friends as well.
5. Exercise manners. Even if your language skills are imperfect, a smile, saying please and thank you (bitte und danke), and a friendly attitude are useful assets for any situation.
6. Get comfortable eating alone. Don’t let the absence of a companion stop you from exploring new restaurants and enjoying the local cuisine.
7. Take time for self-care. No matter where you are in the world, you are a human that requires rest. The world will still be there when you wake up. Continuing to write in my journal and practice yoga have been essential for my mental health and for recovering my energy.
8. Write. Document your experiences in some way, whether it’s on a public forum like FaceBook or someplace private like a journal. For me, writing doesn’t just help me remember what I’ve done; more importantly, it helps me explore and further process my thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Releasing it all onto paper rather than keeping it bottled up inside, especially when you have nobody to confide in, is extremely cathartic.
These past two months have been scary, intimidating, and nerve-wracking, but more importantly, they've been educational, wonderful, and worthwhile. My final piece of advice for those considering moving abroad: carpe diem. It's worth it.
