The Domino Effect

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

–Maya Angelou

For the past few days, I have been writing, rewriting, editing, deleting, oscillating between my journal and my laptop, attempting to parse through these fragmented thoughts in my mind. In many ways, this is a letter to a stranger, an ode to someone I knew for barely a year who probably would not recognize me if I shook her hand and re-introduced myself. Nevertheless, I feel bound to this story; I need to finally write it to recognize it and the impact it has had on me.

When I was thirteen years old, I met a Bangladeshi person for the first time. She was a student teacher for one of my classes in middle school. I was immediately mesmerized by her tales of a land and culture far different from my own and completely spellbound as she described her perspective on the United States and her experiences of culture shock. Admittedly, I cannot recall the exact lessons she taught throughout that year; however, I can still remember how utterly star-struck I felt. Not only do I remember her being incredibly kind, a good storyteller, and remarkably resilient, but she was a treasure trove of knowledge, a window into a new world.

At the end of her stay in our classroom, she gave each student two parting gifts from her home country: a small flag and a piece of currency. It felt like she gave us a piece of herself, and I still have them today.

The personal connections forged between people with disparate backgrounds and different mother tongues, resulting in learning from other perspectives and combating ignorance, are the crux of the Fulbright experience. Every person deserves an opportunity to meet others unlike themselves, to learn about another part of the world, to experience a life or place different from their own. My student teacher was one of the earliest dominos that led to my Fulbright year; she was the actualization of what I thought were unattainable or unrealistic dreams. She inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and to preserve enough childlike hope and naïvete to earn the same.

There are enormous dangers to staying within one’s comfort zone: never experiencing what is new or different, never knowing anyone who is foreign, never being challenged or forced to change, never being confronted with ways you are wrong, never learning, and staying stagnant. Although it can be scary, leaving one's comfort zone—whether it's living and teaching halfway across the world or simply talking to someone with a different background—is one of the most beneficial steps one can take. Learning is the key to everything else in life–success, personal growth, adventuring beyond what you already know–and one can never learn if they never leave their comfort zone. When you stay inside that bubble, it shrinks and shrinks and shrinks, and anything outside that bubble becomes a threat. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone through this Fulbright has permanently impacted my students, my colleagues, my understanding of the world I inhabit, my community back home, my values, and my goals. I have more hope for the future than ever before and a renewed dedication to fostering cultural understanding through personal connections.

It is only now, over ten years later, that I re-discovered that teacher through social media and realized that I have become her: a student teacher also serving as an ambassador, a vessel of foreign knowledge, a personal connection to another land.

Thank you, Ratna.

I've Changed

    When I first attempted to write this post, I created a list of the many ways—big and small—I’ve changed since arriving in Germany, such as majorly improving my German skills, developing greater empathy for non-native English speakers, recycling more, cultivating a stronger appreciation for bread, etc. However, I’ve noticed one thing that stands out to me more than all others: my personal growth—my confidence, my adaptability, my independence, so many qualities and traits that I cannot yet fully summarize.

    Living at home and commuting to work in Cleveland last year felt comfortable. I lived in an area I knew near the people and places I knew speaking the language I knew. It felt like a probationary period for adulthood. Occasionally, I felt tempted to stay in that comfort, to sit and watch the world from my couch. My surroundings and the demands of daily life did not challenge me enough, in the way that would inevitably produce the personal growth I desperately craved.

    Moving to a foreign country has forced me to intimately confront and recognise who I am as a young adult and as a person. When navigating a foreign environment, there is nobody else you can be but yourself, no past version of yourself that others know you as, no room for hiding or regression. Voluntarily foregoing who and what you know is not easy, but I am determined to never let myself settle for easy. By putting myself in situations that challenge and test me, I discover who I am. I’ve had ample time to process life alone, to sit with myself, to journey forward outside the proximity of my support system. I love learning, and Fulbright has given me the opportunity to learn who I am.

   No matter what I decide to do or where I decide to go in the future, I’ll embrace it as this new, stronger me. Adulthood, just like the streets and people of Erlangen, has become familiar to me.

    I’m slowly becoming the person I’ve always wanted to be. My final thought is a wish, a wish that every person could have an experience like this: a chance to accept yourself, be challenged, and grow. Stepping outside of one’s comfort zone, even if it is hard or scary, can have enormous positive results.